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My Fortune Cookie Is a Great Big Liar

chinese take out fortune cookie

If yesterday was foreseen in a Chinese fortune cookie, it was completely wrong. I mean, I don’t really hold much value in the paper fortunes anyway but if I did, my faith in them would have been shattered.

“Something wonderful is about to happen to you.”

Just think of the optimism I hit the ground running with the following morning when that was my final thought for the evening. The day started much like any other – up by 8:00am and setting my ‘TODO’ list before grabbing a small breakfast. I should’ve called it a day right then and there. Shortly after breakfast, I jumped in the shower and headed out on my errands; bank, grocery store and post office to mail out the handwritten pieces and signed poetry books that had been ordered last week. A quick rundown of what took place during those few tasks are listed below. If this were a movie, a quick 90-second montage would appear now, as music played over it, with me finally falling into bed exhausted.

  • The three items I went to grab at the supermarket were sold out, so why not buy an ottoman for the foot of my bed.
  • The post office was out of customs forms (for my fans abroad). Note to self – item #1 for Wednesday’s ‘TODO’ list – go back to said post office and mail out the international pieces.
  • Drive-thru ATM is out of order
  • Inside ATM has no cash
  • Inside ATM ate my bank card for breakfast – clearly to curb its hunger or to make up for its inadequacy of having no cash. I mean the ATM’s mission in life is to accept and dispense cash, and it had failed.
  • Sit in the said bank until I could speak to a bank manager about my card – to which I was told, ‘yes, that particular unit has been giving us issues for a few days now and not returning cards.” Obviously, they don’t feed their machines well. So I can’t blame the poor thing.
  • Activate a temporary bank card with the promise of a brand spanking new one to arrive in my mailbox within 5-7 business days.
  • Stop to gas up the car before I head home – the new temporary card is rejected at the pump. Thankfully, I live 1.2 miles from the station and my trusty ‘miles until empty’ reading said 29. Note to self – replace #1 item on Wednesday’s ‘TODO’ list with – GET GAS FOR THE CAR and move item #1 to item #2.

In the big picture of it all, Monday was simply a bad day. But it was just that, a day! The important thing is I woke up this morning to a brand new day and was able to complete items 1 and 2, without a hitch. All is well again. But that’s the last time I eat Chinese food before my errand day.

3 thoughts on “My Fortune Cookie Is a Great Big Liar

  1. L.E.

    I love this so much. :)

  2. Mary Grossett

    I am laughing so loudly, my dogs are annoyed!
    This is HILARIOUS!

    1. Jay Long

      HAHAHA Yeah–well, it wasn’t so funny as it happened. But lemons=lemonade :)

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