There are a few buzz words in the spiritual community and one that seems to top the list is “empath”. It is often spoken of as some kind of curse or quest given to a select special few. Sometimes it is even viewed as a choice between being either a narcissist or an empath. When you look beneath the razzle dazzle we find it is none of those things, but rather it is one of the most common clair-senses and it is also the one that is most widely accepted.

Changing the perception of the term “empath” falls at the foundation of finding relief from the symptoms. Opinions here may vary, but it is a slippery slope when we start to believe we are different from others or that a select group of people was sent to Earth on a “special mission”. Sure, we can do lots of good while we are here, but to say that a “true empath” is here for a purpose is assigning some level of superiority. This is just not the case. We are all equal. That is a very important thing to realize when you are calling yourself an “empath” with this notion of a mission or curse backing it. That doesn’t mean there is not great good to be done with the clair-sense of empathy. Again, that is what we are talking about here, it is a sense that resonates with the heart chakra.

In order to get a handle on being an “empath” and actually use this sense for something positive, we need to first identify what belongs to us. If it doesn’t belong to us then it is imperative to not allow ourselves to be consumed by it. Often we try to determine who belongs to what and why we are feeling it, this is really not the greatest place to begin. We must know our own energy. If you know who you are, if you know what your energy feels like, then you know when something is not yours. This is the first step. It doesn’t matter why we are feeling it if we can’t discern what is ours and what is not. So how do we get to that point? How do we control something uncontrollable? How do we find clarity in such chaos?

Crystals can help a great deal and you are welcome to select ones that differ from this list. First things first we must get grounded. Not a whimsical walk in the woods, but actually get present and stick your energy to the Earth like a high powered magnet. There is no stone that does this better than hematite. There are many grounding crystals, some nurture like jaspers, some transmute like tourmaline and some just have such a strong energetic pull to the Earth’s energy that they facilitate an undeniable exchange of your excess or unwanted energy.

So when do we ground? At first, more often than you think you need to. You will need to recognize when you are ungrounded in order to know you are unbalanced. Taking the extra time to be mindful and ground several times a day when it is not needed will help you to learn exactly what you feel like. Hold the hematite in your hand, breath and notice how you feel. The state of quiet and calm is what we are looking for, in that quiet is where you will find your energy. Try to know how your energy feels and fill your “bubble” with that vibration. Know that is your energy. Repeat this as often as needed until you are sure you know your energy. When you feel anything other than that nice calm “you”; stop and breathe in a mindful way, then focus on pushing all that is not “you” to the ground and out of your space. This is step one to managing your clair-empathy.

Next up is shielding, which is simply feeling and visualizing the energy that surrounds you. It is very easy and all you need to do is imagine an energetic barrier around you. To manage clair-empathy you must improve this practice. Think of it like a muscle, if you don’t stretch and use your muscles, they will not be at their optimum performance level. If you don’t maintain your shielding practice, then your shield will not be functioning the best it can. Practice regular shielding more often than needed and add satin spar to the mix. This one is good to have within your aura at all times. Satin spar is fibrous gypsum and it is often sold as selenite. There really is no substitute for this crystal for this application. It works to over fill an area with high vibrational energy and repairs the auric field of any issues.

After we know our energy and have strengthened our shield, next we have to strengthen our emotional center. People shouldn’t sway you. If you can stand firm in your energy there should be very few scenarios that shake you. Our goal is to recognize emotions but not become them. We want to understand the things we feel, we can empathize but we don’t want to take on and be consumed by foreign energy. Strengthening your emotional endurance is a big part of that.

For this we select a stone that resonates with the heart chakra. We want healing energy that resonates with truth, strength, honor and unconditional love and there is no stone that resonates with all of those more strongly than the emerald. This doesn’t have to be a gem quality emerald, just any emerald will be amazing. We are looking to strengthen our resolve, we want to be able to greet any emotion, any scenario with strength and compassion.

We also want to be able to solve problems when we start to interpret what we feel right? So we need to be able to get past the things we feel so we can think and use logic. We can’t do that if we get caught up in the variety of emotions we encounter. Think of a mother’s love. If a mother has two children and they are fighting and they come to her for help, what does she do? Does she pick the emotions that she likes best? Does she agree with the strongest of the emotions? No, she loves both of her children unconditionally so she needs to see the situation for what it is. She wants what is best for everyone. She must put anything that triggers her aside in order to get to the facts. Knowing how her children feel about the situation helps her to determine why they are reacting the way they do and if she can manage to keep a clear head, she might find her way to a solution that allows for resolution and forgiveness on both sides of the argument.

That is what clair-empathy is for. Not for picking a side, not for feeling what others are feeling and getting upset about it, but being able to know both sides of the equation and help get to resolution and healing for everyone involved when mediation is required. This is why we call on the emerald. It can help us to greet all situations through the lens of unconditional love and strength. It has a vibration that feels regal. Like any good ruler knows they are not above the people but part of the people, what is best for one may not be best for all and the ruler has the job of finding what is most beneficial for all. That is the vibration we are looking for. The vibration that connects us, allows us to see things from the collective point of view. This is the gift of empathy, the idea that “empaths” have a purpose stems from this ability to mediate. It isn’t being above or different but getting in tune with the ability to help find resolution, the ability we all have to facilitate cooperation and healing. Being connected to everyone allows for a strengthening of the bond between us all which is exactly what clair-empathy is. That is special enough in its own right and something we ALL own if we choose to. The emerald is a crystal that is better kept within the aura at all times in regard to managing clair-empathy.

Now that we know to stay grounded and actually practice the concept, mind our shielding and have strengthened our emotional center, we must learn to discern what we are feeling. Amethyst is the choice here as it is the stone for clarity of mind. If you can’t understand what you are feeling, you can’t really do much with the information. Let’s pretend for a second you are famous and you want to walk through a crowd of people to get to a stage. Think of amethyst like your bodyguard. You are walking through a sea of people all shouting your name and amethyst leads your way, stiff arming people while it says “Step aside” as it guides you to your destination. Amethyst can help clear away the chaos so that you can find the answers you are looking for. This one is great for all the time for emotional stability and support.

Next thing we must do is communicate what we feel. There are a ton of stones that help with this but we are dealing with a lot of energy right now and we can easily become unbalanced. We need some strong vibrations and for this application the best suited crystal is blue kyanite. Think of blue kyanite like a lightning bolt of high vibrational energy that instantly aligns your energy centers. It also strengthens the connection between you and spirit, which is imperative if you want to really understand the messages you are getting. Blue kyanite also works to connect all chakras so that the information you communicate is balanced. Sometimes we find ourselves speaking from a place of fear or from power or a variety of other places depending on what chakra is leading the charge; but if all chakras are working in unison, our communication will be the most true to ourselves and likely have the best odds of being received well by whoever we are speaking to. To harness the benefits of blue kyanite you can create a grid to help facilitate balanced communication. You can also use it as a stone to meditate with or put it in your pocket in times of need.

Last is keeping our energy free of things we don’t want there. Black tourmaline is great for protection. That being said, it may not be the best choice to carry black tourmaline on your person at all times when clair-empathy is unmanaged. Instead shungite is a great alternative choice. Shungite is an amazing stone that works to remove all dis-ease within its vicinity, it is a natural filter. It will filter your energy field of lower vibrations. Having this one in your aura at all times is very beneficial.

While wearing black tourmaline when learning to manage our clair-empathy is not advisable, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use it. People who utilize clair-empathy need to cleanse tourmaline more often than people who don’t which is why wearing it is not optimal. This is because tourmaline works to attract and transmute energy. The time it takes to do this is not instant and if you over flood your tourmaline with negative energy, it will get all funky and need to be cleansed. It can only transmute so quickly so if it has an overabundance of energy coming in, there is bound to be a backup of residual energy. Clair-empathy does something similar where it draws energy to you and you need to ground it. When both you and the tourmaline are drawing in energy, a build up of energy occurs. Instead of wearing it, once a day sit with your tourmaline and release all negative energy within your field. This practice will absolutely help to restore balance to your energetic field.

When we apply these tools to our mindful practice, we can find balance and change our own opinion about the benefits of clair- empathy.

Melanie Bratton